ami said the other day “your sister and i are so worried about you. we feel you’ve been so unhappy!”
now regardless of how unhappy i’ve been, and ignoring my late night more insane then usual BBMs to z (something to the tune of ”this baby is such a mistake. i don’t want to be married to you! you’re a financially incompetent moron!” and equally colorful replies with a lot of the f word thrown around) we were in a much better place relationship wise. how dare my family feel sorry for me! how dare they imply my marriage was inferior just because i didn’t have as many damn things as my bitch elder sister did. her husband is OLD for gods sake. if z was in his mid-40s he’d be a lot more bloody stable as well. or even in his mid-30s for that matter. and he’s really stressed about finances, and has been going crazy at work trying to get bonus-s and commissions and everything. and i haven’t been exactly supportive. in fact, he’s pretty much bourne the brunt of my mood swings and crazy hormones. where were my mother and sister then! family is SO aggravating. i yearn for my simple stupid unemotional office space, where professional courtesy, political correctness and civility was the norm.
i could have liked back, dated, and perhaps even married any number of numbskulls who liked me in school, college and work. i could have experimented, fallen for, screwed around. instead, i fell in love with z at 18, and never looked back since then. he is the only one i want to be with, regardless of stupid money, regardless of stupid house drips and paint peels, and regardless of his complete and utter immaturity when it comes to financial matters. what matters is that i like him as a PERSON. i want to wake up to him every single morning for the rest of my life. there is no one in the world who understands me more. no one in the world who loves me despite my lack of patience, my anger issues, my lack of verbal skills with adults, my lack of social grace and complete and utter lack of tact in household politics. how could i want to trade that in for someone who has a damn higher paycheck. z will rule the bank one day. he could rule a damn country if he put his mind to it. i have utter faith that he will become great. it just takes bloody time, and harping on about it is NOT required.
only I can complain about z. no one bloody well else dare do that, or i’ll drop kick them. my sister is really making it to the front of this list.
